Log in

16 January 2008 @ 19:02
Welcome, new employees  
*slams door shut*

*puts safety goggles off*

Phew. Oh err, hello there! Don't open Door 24. Well, don't open it unless you're into tentacles A lot of tentacles, and if you are, please don't tell me. Good news is, the thing inside seems to feed on food leftovers, just like earthworms. So throw some biodegradable trash in there once in a while and we'll just forget about Door 24, okay?

So, you got the official remit from the Captain, time to go to work! General layout of the Hub for the newbies among you: As you might've guessed by now the Hub is unstuck in space/time, which is why you all got those nifty keys when you were hired. Use those to unlock any door and you'll arrive in the Hub through Door 1, that's the one down there with the red, big threatening One on it. *points* It's also our only escape route, don't tell the fire department.

There's a kitchen around here somewhere, as well as stairs to the basement, a greenhouse (don't ask me where that light's coming from, the last guy who went to find out never returned) and my lab, but I tend to forget where that is, so don't be too surprised to find me wandering the corridors looking for coffee.

If you can ever figure out the layout of the basement please draw me some sort of map? I have a feeling things shift around down there ever since the old railway to the other Torchwood Hubs was torn out of the universe... I'm still trying to figure out how that happened, but I'm quite bad when it comes to physics. So go and knock yourself out if you want to, I'm going to find some coffee now.
jadesfire2808jadesfire on 16th January 2008 18:36 (UTC)
I'm making inroads with the library, although we're going to need a new hoover. They don't half make a bang when they explode.

Library's through Door 12 and currently contains all the written material that Torchwood's managed to gather over the years. If there's a Martian speaker on the staff, could someone point me in their direction, please? I've also got safety leaflets going back a few years and a bulging multi-media collection that I haven't dared touch yet. I might need someone from biology with a hazmat suit and dark glasses for that one.

Thanks to some *cough* special arrangements, the library can get hold of pretty much anything you want, although all requests have to be approved by the librarian. So if you're too shy to ask me for it, you're not going to get it. At the moment, our reference books are somewhat limited, since no-one seemed to realise that "The War of the Worlds" is less useful than "Astrophysics for Dummies". The Latin dictionary is fine, but I'm still trying to work out why we need a copy of 'Scouting for Boys.' Not that I'm getting rid of it. There are some very educational scribblings in the margins...

Oh, and anyone bringing pizza, doughnuts, sandwiches etc or coffee into the library gets themselves an instant week's ban. Anyone who forgets to return things to the library can kiss their search engine goodbye. Forget fines. We know where you Google.
twincityhackermsp_hacker on 16th January 2008 19:20 (UTC)
Don't toss the "War of the Worlds" quite yet. Behind Door 18 should be storage for office supplies, but apparently the oil drum marked "Cooking Oil" seems to be instead of a large blooby alien preserved with formaldehyde.

No idea if the alien is a match as I couldn't get an positive ID as most things look like "wet leather" after a century preservatives. Bleached wet leather, but still leather.

I shudder to think what may be lurking in the tin marked "Biscuits."

EDIT: Biscut tin seems to contain actual biscuits. Have relocated it to kitchen, though I have no idea how good they are still.

Edited at 2008-01-16 19:22 (UTC)
jadesfire2808: Confused - five slightly bewilderedjadesfire on 16th January 2008 19:27 (UTC)
#1. Why would a drum marked 'cooking oil' end up in office supplies anyway? I mean, I know some of the stuff round here is old, and I swear the lift is steam powered, but cooking oil?

#2. Oh, ugh. If you can get further than 'bleached wet leather' we might be able to get a match out of the database. It's giving me a bit of trouble at the moment - these things tend to develop personality after a few years, and ours is definitely contrary (I've decided to call her Mary) - but I can see what I can do.

#3. You're sure they're actual earth biscuits? There was some trouble with suspiciously normal looking donuts a while back...
Edited to add reference. Because I'm a librarian and can't help myself.

Edited at 2008-01-16 19:35 (UTC)
twincityhacker: Otto Hahn and Lise Meitnermsp_hacker on 16th January 2008 20:10 (UTC)
#1. I'm begining to think that "office supplies" means "anything we've used in the office ever" as along with the staples, pens, and odd preserved alien, there's an awful lot of dry goods. And a bag of ping pong balls with velcro attached. But I did find the biohazard suits. They're hanging just inside the door now if you need one.

#2. I'm looking for a place to lay the alien out - and a biologist! - as the genius who crated the being put it in the drum face first.

#3. Good point about the donuts. I've put the biscuit tin and any other consumable I'm finding in here in boxes marked "Do Not Eat: Possible Alien Foodstuffs." I did have to move them back to the office supply room as I've not found a lab or anyplace more suited yet.
jadesfire2808jadesfire on 16th January 2008 20:29 (UTC)
#1. I managed to get the door shut on the multi-media cupboard (I found a really big stick) so I'll leave that one for later. The biohazard suits are going to be essential.

#2. We've got at least 2 biologists around here, so just put out a shout for one of them.

#3. There's a coffee machine somewhere (please tell me there's a coffee machine...) so hopefully we can get some identifiable foodstuffs to go with it. I'm thinking that for the moment, we should only be consuming stuff whose origins we're 100% certain about!
steviesun: T4steviesun on 17th January 2008 13:04 (UTC)
Door 8 I seem to remember, could be wrong. Down the road. Costa Coffee. Still working on our Ianto coffee person replacement, since stealing the original would be too obvious (plus he might tell his boyfriend about us).
xwingacexwingace on 21st January 2008 21:58 (UTC)
Sorry for the late reaction, but I've been trying to identify the preserving fluid in that 'cooking oil' drum. It smells like formaldehyde, but it's not just that.

However, as soon as I've found the actual chem lab again, I'm sure I could run some tests on those mysterious foodstuffs.

steviesun: T4steviesun on 16th January 2008 20:11 (UTC)
Sorting through the paperwork left by my predecesor, I think the lift is actually powered by something to do with the greenhouse. I don't understand the science of it myself, I'm not really a scientist myself, but enough to say that as long as we leave the greenhouse alone the lift should keep working. Apparently it's something to do with the founders feeling it's safer than it be powered by something that could otherwise run out.
jadesfire2808: Writing - booksjadesfire on 16th January 2008 20:32 (UTC)
There's a certain amount of sense to that, I suppose. TW4 didn't make it into "Torchwood: A History" which I found behind the box of National Geographics. [BTW, I swear there's a mischevious alien race somewhere, going around, dumping boxes of National Geographics in every library across the universe.] I guess we'll just have to wait until we can identify all the rooms and systems and in the meantime, not go near the greenhouse!
steviesun: T4steviesun on 16th January 2008 20:17 (UTC)
Note to add that somewhere around here there's also "the zoo". Can't remember what number door at the moment, knew I should have kept notes, but I'll get back to you with that. It's basically where we hold alien individuals whilst we study them. Not sure who was doing the feeding whilst this place has been empty, but I believe that all are present and correct (according to the notes left).

The other interesting thing that I'm finding is from going through the notes that were left on my desk. Apparently Torchwood 4 managed an interview with the Doctor at one point. Seems to be one of the last things that happened before we moved position.

I'm coming up with a plan of our hub and some of the door numbers. I'll post all when I have more details.

-Captain StevieSun
flipbfcflipbfc on 16th January 2008 20:26 (UTC)
Door 17 is the workshop, if it needs to be fixed bring it here, automotive and aviation a speciality. Having said that, whoever has walked off with the rift manipulator remote unit, please don't try it indoors or in populated areas, the sticker saying "Extreme risk of armageddon" seems to have fallen off.

N.B. Although technically aviation, the remit does not include Pterodactyls!
steviesun: T4steviesun on 17th January 2008 13:06 (UTC)
That's okay, we've only one, and it's safely away in the zoo (think that's what I spotted when I did my check). I was working on getting a civil engineer to keep you company, but she wasn't interested. So I wiped her mind/reconned her.
cyber_istari: Ianto bat*** crazycyber_istari on 20th January 2008 01:35 (UTC)
Er, I think the server room is down in the basement. Guess I don't need to visit that badly...